A few things on my mind

Archive for June 2014

My man

I few days ago I attended Emotional Intelligence training – I know right like I need that. It turns out among a few things that I am not a sensitive to others as I should be and that turning to myself for expert advice is not ideal – but will share more once I have my full debrief.

In learning more about my emotional side, we spoke about being a mother – especially of more than one. The women in the room had only one child and were scared of having the second one as they felt they would not be able to love them as much as the first one. They turned to me and asked how I found being a mother of two– my response was “You grow another heart” I did not think about my response then but I have been for the past two days. I have documented how responsible I feel about my role in my daughter’s development as a woman and placed a similar onus on her dad.

My second child is a boy – over and above the fact that he is a real terrorist – he is actually quite sweet. For the record – I do love him with all my heart and I am able to do so because Mother Nature gives you an additional heart with every child. He is learning to reciprocate affection – bearing my earlier declaration – I need to work harder at demonstrating to him emotion and affection.

In raising a man – I know that my responsibility is to also do right by his future female friends. To do so I need to make sure that I cut the umbilical cord at the right time – not too soon and not too late. If I get it right – I would have created a real man for some woman out there.

As much as my boy will model his father’s characteristics, making his dad’s role in him being a man crucial – I also have the same responsibility on how he will treat and appreciate women. And being a woman – I would want him to be a real man. But what would that entail – a real man that is?

So I came across a definition of real man by Myles Munroe and according to him – pardon the Christian bias – a man is the foundation – designed to hold the weight of the family. In addition, there is the below list – and without a guide book – I think this is a list worth working from.

Munroe says before I send him out to the world, I must ensure that he:

1.Has a clear self-image
•I must help in developing his self-confidence

2.Is in the presence of God
•I must teach him that while the world is his oyster, he must be aware of the bigger powers at play

3.Is working and loves to work
•I need to teach him about responsibility and accountability

4.Is able to cultivate a woman
•I need to teach him that it is his role to bring value to his woman’s life

5.Is able to protect his woman
•I must teach him about the power of his strength – that he must be able to use his strength for good and not harm

I have said many times that raising children is hard – but it is harder now that I know that I am actually raising a man.